“It was an all-consuming fear that I would just stop breathing in my sleep, but still, all I wanted was to take more.” These are the words of Rory Maslen (they/them), a 21-year-old student from Leeds, who fell victim to the devastating grip of prescription drug addiction. Sitting in their university flat, Rory recounts the years filled with anxiety, depression, and a desperate obsession with benzos, the drug that was slowly killing them.
A few hundred miles away in Edinburgh, William Anderson, 53, shares a similar story of addiction and despair. After the tragic loss of his daughter at 19, William turned to benzos as a means of coping with grief. Initially prescribed seven pills a day, he soon found himself seeking additional drugs on the street. Despite the age and distance that separate Rory and William, their stories mirror each other eerily. Both victims of benzo addiction spiraled into a destructive cycle, seeking more drugs to numb their pain.
Understanding Benzos
Benzodiazepines, commonly known as benzos, are anti-anxiety prescription medications that have flooded the illicit market. While these drugs are meant to be prescribed under medical supervision, a growing number of vulnerable individuals in the UK turn to street benzos for self-medication, as reported by charities such as Turning Point and UKAT. However, the situation has taken a dangerous turn recently, as testing services have discovered that street benzos are being laced with a synthetic opioid that is ten times stronger than Fentanyl, raising serious alarm bells.
Stripped of Free Will
What began as a form of self-medication quickly transformed into self-destruction for Rory. They vividly describe how benzos took away their free will, leaving them with a constant, overwhelming desire for more. Eventually, Rory found themselves taking a staggering 30 benzo pills per day, leading to life-threatening seizures and severe side effects. The physical pain, tremors, and the sensation of burning eyes under the sun became an unbearable reality. Rory was trapped in a never-ending cycle of agony.
The Lowest Point
For William, a lifetime of trauma, grief, and isolation pushed him deeper into what he refers to as “benzo oblivion.” Consuming a staggering 100 pills every day and resorting to selling benzos to feed his addiction, William was teetering on the edge of death. After a grueling 20-year battle with benzos, he attempted to take his own life. Despite being knocked out for four days by the overwhelming dose of pills, he found himself continuing to use. The defining moment came when William approached a group of strangers on the street, only to realize that one of them was his own son. The look of shame in his son’s eyes was a wake-up call, prompting William to choose between life and death. He decided to live.
Since that fateful day, William turned his life around. He established a support group called “Oor Willie,” which now boasts over 1,700 members, and trained as an addiction support worker. His journey serves as a beacon of hope for others struggling with benzo addiction. Similarly, Rory found the strength to taper off benzos with the support of their family, fueled by their passion for music and their desire to reunite with their band, Kiosk.
A Warning to Others
When asked what advice they would give to young people contemplating self-medication with benzos, both Rory and William share the same response: a resounding plea to seek help and avoid the destructive path they once walked. Their stories serve as cautionary tales of the dark and devastating consequences of benzo addiction. They are living proof that there is hope beyond the grip of these drugs, and that recovery is possible with the right support and determination.
The stories of Rory and William underscore the urgent need for education, awareness, and support when it comes to prescription drug addiction. Benzos may promise relief, but they ultimately lead to a harrowing journey of desperation and destruction. It is our collective responsibility to ensure that those suffering from addiction are not left to fight their battles alone.
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